Public Enemy One: Gas

So yesterday, I was minding my own business and all of a sudden I didn't feel so hot. I think my retard of a mother ate something on the forbidden list, which may have translated to my discomfort. Armature! 

I know they wanted to go to bed around 10ish, but I was determined to keep the whole apartment complex up with my screaming until about 1am. (I'm actually hoping we get evicted. I'm scared of heights and we're on the 7th floor.)

Mom finally sat me up, bounced me around, and made me nauseous enough to stop crying. It's only because I felt like I was going to vomit. 

I slept from 1 to about 6am, and then it started again! I'm putting mom on a diet of noodles and rice! Who does she think she is ingesting dairy!!? 

Anyway, after some serious passing gas, I relaxed and drank a whole six pack of milk. It was a rough day, don't judge me. 

   

Life is way more tolerable after a cocktail or two.