Who wants to visit?!

Our friends are on a roll!! We really haven't spent a whole lot of time alone in the apartment (minus the two week chickenpox hibernation...which was pretty miserable for mom). Nagymama and Nagypapa have been here three times and will be here again next month. Mom's friend came from Budapest for a few days, and apu's friends just visited from Germany! We had a fun weekend.

 

 

I'm prettt sceptical of everything he says, as you can tell. And we're also in a church...so my BS meter is even higher. 

 

And of course, while on the funicular up to the Fourvière, I had to show everyone my eye crossing skills. This skill tends to illicit the best response from all adults...dry heaving. 

Coronary delights part deux

 

Apu was feeling pretty ambitious.

Mom ate half...Apu was worried...

 

I was also a bit over zealous...

Coronary delights...

Just a package of melted cheese...no biggie.

 

Until you add potatoes and bacon...

 

Looks like Apu is missing the US now that he's off for a month. It's looking very much like Applebee's in this house...with loaded potato skins...

 

Until you get to the 12 cat sized snails...

The kilo of raw mussels for 6€!!!!! Or...

 

The nine oysters, we HAD to buy because they won't let you run your credit card for less than 10€. 

So...mom and Apu have gained closed to 20 pounds, and I'm still skin and bones because, "Ewwwww...I don't like that." 

Bag lady status...

Mom has a fear of becoming a bag lady...and I think that's true for many.

It's what she thinks about sometimes in the silence of the night....THE PANIC.  I'm SURE you've never thought about this, right?

This is mom's recurrent fear...

What if apu dies?!! How would she take care of us?! Would she run home or stay in Europe?! COULD she even STAY in Europe? She's not an EU citizen. But could she move back to San Diego...that seems so distant these days!! She's been taking care of us for four years, she has no marketable skills!! WHAT WOULD SHE DO?! Oh MY GOD, all three of us would DIE.

...Her mind again, going CRAZY.  Her inner lizard brain, who's instinct is anticipating fear in order to survive.

The craziest part about this darn lizard brain, that we all have, is this assumption that if you stay afraid, you'll be safe.  Ummm, when has that ever worked??? What if Mr. Lizardo took a vacation??

 

And then she asked herself what makes people successful?

Oprah Winfrey
Taylor Swift (don't judge mom's examples, hear her out)...
Nelson Mandela
Maya Angelou
Apu, the Greateat Aviator of All Time (according to him)

A running theme mom can identify in these people, is authenticity.  All of these people are and were unapologetically themselves.

People connect with one another when they sense genuineness.   These people all drew content/talent/wisdom from within. 

She *thinks,* in order to be successful and make money,  she needs to focus on selling her own joy and emotion. Selling CONNECTION.  Emanating purpose and love. BEING HERSELF.  And not caring ONE hot second about making money or being "successful." 

It's funny, more than a few people have told mom in passing she should write for a living.  She loves it, and she makes herself laugh...but when she sits down with the INTENT to write and be "funny," she simply can't.  It seems like work, it doesn't come naturally, and it usually ends in frustration.  Yet, when she looks back on her blog, she sees over 600 blog posts, that have all come about organically. 

(She actually turned these posts into a book...and it was a pretty thick one.)

 

It appears for mom, that she makes money when she's not worried about it, and when she's happily letting love flow through her photography and writing.  Not when she's hysterically trying to work on a marketing plan or worry about bringing in an income in order to save us from homelessness.

Taking pictures.  Capturing moments between a mother and her babies, and giving them gift of THAT moment.

Pure individuality.  That's what mom has to give the world.

Openness.

Being "open" is such an obscure concept.  Mom says she's run into quite a few people who claim to be open, yet in the same breath, will judge and criticize.  It's funny...and somewhat bizarre.  But there is a different kind of openness...to mom, anyway.

The mind is a tricky character.  Mom has learned to ignore hers...for certain things anyway.  It can still add 2 + 2, and put together a doll house.

When she first stepped foot in France, she was scared. Big time.  As the weeks passed, she felt oddly at home.  Then life happened, boys came and went, rings appeared on her finger and then disappeared, college degrees showed up in the mail and then were lost in the depths of some cabinet, on some continent.

All those things were so fleeting.

Mom felt somewhat unsettled. Always.

On any given day, she would be find fighting herself (not out loud, thankfully)...trying to predict the future, analyze, and manipulate.  It was this obsession with control...trying to outsmart the universe. It was all pretty stressful. And then she let go one night, at an airshow (don't ask...long story).  She turned inwardly, and listened to that REALLY quiet GUT feeling (instinct/stillness/her heart).  She paid attention to herself, instead of the noise around her AND IN HER HEAD.

(Mom isn't not schizophrenic, although I would tend to argue that fact when it comes to our bedtime routine.)

At one point she unknowingly asked herself what she REALLY wanted. THIS TOOK ZERO EFFORT.  It came so naturally.  Everything.

School. Apu. Us. Europe. And France. Photography.  The soul stuff.  The stuff that takes no overthinking, or chasing.

Calm. Organic. STRESS-FREE!!!! I mean, it's pretty awesome.

So openness to mom, in this context, means listening to her tummy. It guides...navigates uncertainty with confidence, instead of fear. And most importantly, let's her trust that everything will be ok, even when it's not. Like when I refuse to take ONE nice a picture with mom!

 

A trip into the past...

Mom decided to drag us to her old stomping grounds, not that we really care.

After school today, we will be embarking on a three hour car ride to Aix-en-Provence.  Mom basically grew up in Aix.  It was not even two years, but she can attribute her adultness to her experience there.  Who knew she'd end up back there with TWO babies AND a husband! HUH?

For more about her past...click here. This will explain in further detail why she's being so nostalgic.

Ghetto mom strikes again!

We all packed up super early this morning to head to the Préfecture (the DMV on steroids, minus the English speaking convenience). Read: disater. Oh, and Gen, the babysitter, is in Ireland. Perfect timing.

 

(Mom channeled her college days and went with old school colored tabs.)

So she had an appointment (which mind you, was booked in August), so we were NOT allowed to be late. Also, it was 1 degree Celsius outside. What is this place, Budapest???! 

We pulled up and the line was around the block (even with an appointment). So we waited...and waited, and THEN...some not-so-nice grown men (mom is leaving out a few expletives she'd like to use), decided to cut EVERYONE in line, namely mom, who was dealing with two grouchy toddlers. Insert, El Cajon crazy. 

Mom was not having ANY of this, and told every single MAN CHILD that the line was around the block and to move NOW (IN FRENCH)!!! Mom was basically ready to throw down, while holding Pompom (which seems to be a theme of empowerment). The jerky guys begrudgingly listened and got out of mom's way. Apparently she looked as serious as she sounded. Apu was pretty impressed, and so was mom! BAM! Adulthood lesson 101, speak up when you see injustice! 

Good and bad news. The lady was SUPER nice and gave mom her provisional residency permit (for FIVE years), under the provision she come back with apu's translated work contract (which doesn't actually exist). 

 

We then went to the mall to buy me warm pants since school starts again tomorrow!!! THANK GOD...for all of us. 

 

And now we're home and Pommies is being funny.