Whammer Jammer

Literally two minutes of dad playing harmonica. 

http://youtu.be/maGU2ATTIoA

Yay for gay!

This morning dad and I were hanging out while mom was doing laundry (per her usual). We were discussing worldly events when dad ran across a video on the first same-sex marriage conducted in San Francisco since the Supreme Court overturned the Defense of Marriage Act! It's about time my people get their act together and do what's only fair! Now we just need to work on this side of the pond. I can't wait to attend my first gay wedding! 

Can someone please send me a rainbow party hat? I'm trying to organize a Pride parade here in Budapest. 

Vienna!

Yesterday, dad needed to pick up his license from the Austrian Aviation Authority, so we took the trip to go get it and to see aunt Sandra! I slept most of the two hour trip, but once we got there I was wide awake. Austrians are much different than Hungarians, although they are much scarier when it comes to driving! Poor dad gets flipped off every time he goes. Other than that, they are all really put together in their designer clothes, and 9 out of 10 cars are super expensive. It's much fancier, and let's face it, so am I. Mom and I are really hoping to move there one day. Plus they have sushi and BBQ there! Yehaw! 

Aunt Sandra took lunch from her work (she's a lawyer) and we went to go see her new apartment! I want to live with her. Her closet was the size of our entire place in Budapest! And don't get me started on her awesome shoe collection. She's a much better dresser than mom, who bought T-shirts from Tesco (the equivalent of Walmart). 

I fit in much better in Vienna, although I had to borrow mom's sunglasses to blend in with the crowd. I didn't want them to know I was Hungarian. 

People literally crowd around me on a regular basis and tell me how cute I am. It's starting to get annoying. 

The view from aunt Sandra's place! So cool! 

Please...

...contact my PR agent for modeling contracts and/or any print work. My going rate is $5k/hour. Mom needs to get her hair done. 

Really, I'm happy.

I got my cardiac ultrasound today, and they told me what I already knew...for the messily price of 28,000HUF. That's $140! Did I miss something?! Are we back in San Diego?! 

I got pissed when they hooked me up to the EKG thing, and then the nice nurse lady gave me sugar water to shut me up! It was DE-LIC-IOUS. She didn't ask the rents, thank god, because they don't let me eat sweets. Little do they know I've eaten like 10 cupcakes in the middle of the night.  

This is what happens when I don't get my way. Don't mess with me, mom! 

Unfortunately, the car gets me every time. Dad drives like he's a NASCAR racer!! It's super fun!!! 

I'm a ninja.

Lurking around corners...ready to take over the world!!! One sucker at a time! 

Dad, the Anti-Christ

So today the fam (mom, dad, and grandpa) went to the House of Terror Museum, or Terror Háza in Hungarian (I'm learning slowly). The whole trip was pretty boring, which is why I slept through 95% of it. However, towards the end of the exhibit, dad proceeded to dance on a big marble CROSS in the middle of the floor. He's a genius. Mind you, this is a museum depicting the torture of hundreds of political defectors during WWII by Hungarian Nazis and the Hungarian Communist Party. Basically, it's the most insensitive thing he could have done given the current theme. To be fair, he didn't realize it was an actual cross until the security guard lectured him on the meaning of respect. Mom almost died, it was so funny. 

Dad apologized, but subsequently, all the guards kept a very close eye on our convoy, even though we were following a group of 20 teenagers. He's an American at heart. I can only imagine what antics I will bear witness to in the next 30 years. Pray for me. 

You can't tell in the picture, but dad's tail was between his legs. 

This is a link to a video post excursion. Dad is a weirdo. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiP2qk1kdHc

Stressed.

We had to get up extra early today so I could get my hips checked at the state orthopedic clinic. Thankfully, I have yet to experience American medicine, so I can't fully appreciate how crappy the public hospitals really are. 

Turns out I'm perfect, which I could have told them over the phone. The doctor was initially nice, but then proceeded to push and stretch my legs in positions that were pretty uncomfortable. So I peed on the table. 

Now I'm home, it's 200 degrees in the apartment, and mom put me in my crib to sleep off the day. 

Can someone please get me a rum and coke? 

On a happier note, it's great grandma's birthday! I wish I was there to eat oysters with her! Next year for sure! Love you, love you! A bientôt! 

Hunger strike!

Mom and dad took me to the mall today to buy a fan for grandpa's room. They proceeded to eat and completely leave me out. I wanted a chicken sandwich from Burger King, but all those jerks ever give me is milk. You'd think they'd add some Nesquik to be nice. So I'm boycotting all food and going on a hunger strike. I'm only eating my own limbs! That'll show them how serious I am. 

My thumb is the first to go!! 

Mom says I look like Zoidberg. You can call me Popcorn Freak-a-zoidberg Gandhi Ács. 

Overload

Today we went back to the doctor for mom's ultrasound thing. I started to cry and dad then proceeded to fill me with 150 ml of milk. That's five straight ounces of bliss. 

This is what followed. 

Oh. My. God.

Are we going to Walmart? Jesus, dad dressed me like Peggy Bundy! 

It's Fridaaaay!!!!

I'm napping before my big night out of drinking. Yehaw! 

Can someone please get him a record deal?

We can market it as "baby music" and sell it on iTunes. 

http://youtu.be/Ba88IL39e9Q

It works every time! 

Snoring.

That's what I'm doing as mom types this and posts pictures. Eating all day makes me tired, what can I say! 

'I love mommy,' as long as she feeds me the second I ask...otherwise, I scream at mommy. 

Waving hello to my peeps! 

Sleeping on my favorite pillow, that three minutes later, I pooped on. I win. 

I catch flys in my mouth on occasion for extra money. 

My gas face. The double chin comes out when I push. 

Let's rethink this...

We could be in San Diego...

Granted we'd be paying for health insurance. 

But instead we're here...

Attempting to avoid getting swept away by the Danube. Those would indeed be traffic lights. 

Learning is for babies.

So mom woke dad and I up early today so we could go to this English speaking newborn class in Buda. I wasn't particularly fond of waking up that early, considering I spent most of the night just hanging out and kicking mom right where her c-section scar is. Hahaha. It's like the most fun game ever! I kick, she wraps a blanket around my feet, I kick her harder, then she puts a pillow in between us. Then, after she's been a sleep awhile, I wiggle my way under that too and REALLY get her! Entertainment for hours...who needs dumb shiny toys?!

So the class was great! The lady who leads the class, Réka, picked me up and held me! I fell asleep immediately, and since she was so nice, I chose not to spit up on her. As for mom, ha! When she took over, I spit a good two ounces all over her newly washed sweater. I told her not to eat dairy! I think she learned her lesson. 

The class was funny (when I was awake long enough to hear anything). Dad kept cracking jokes, trying to make everyone laugh...which worked...most of the time. There were people from Canada, Serbia, Azerbaijan, a Mexican, and two other Americans.  Dad can be really inappropriate sometimes. So much so that mom has to back him up with explanations or to tell people he's joking. She needs to lighten up! 

I did not choose the thug life, it chose me.

Dad picked up my passport and birth certificate today, after having to explain to the guard why I could not provide him written permission to do so. Ain't nobody got time fo that! 

Dad said I wasn't supposed to smile in the picture if I was a true Hungarian. Plus I'm missing a few teeth. 

Now I just have to convince mom to take the big trip home to San Diego. I swear on the bible I'll be cute and quiet the whole way! (Does it matter that I'm agnostic?) Oh well! 

Videos of Miss Aniston.

If you click on the links below, you'll find a few videos of Her Highness, Miss Popcorn. 

http://youtu.be/aNmUEOsrU8E

http://youtu.be/QboibGSxWjQ

http://youtu.be/EuLiJ70rw9s

I like water!

My favorite part of the day, aside from eating 15 times in a 24 hour period, is bath time!! Dad is really good at making the water the perfect temperature, although sometimes he jokes about cooking me. I'm not sure if I should trust him. Plus he has a tattoo, which already makes him a shady character. 

I get to float around for like 5 minutes and it's awesome. For a short time, I forget how crazy the world is and get to reminisce about my life before seeing the light. Ugh, growing up is rough.