Things I do when dad is away...

I make big messes.

I eat carpet. 

Mom fished this out of my mouth. 

I try and bite mom when she tries to take my carbs away. 

I kick mom out of the beanbag chair! 

I smush carrots and zucchini between my fingers. 

I walk on my knees...sort of.

And what does dad do when he's away? 

Pretends he's a Navy Seal after buying $300 night vision goggles from Bass Pro.