Openness.

Being "open" is such an obscure concept.  Mom says she's run into quite a few people who claim to be open, yet in the same breath, will judge and criticize.  It's funny...and somewhat bizarre.  But there is a different kind of openness...to mom, anyway.

The mind is a tricky character.  Mom has learned to ignore hers...for certain things anyway.  It can still add 2 + 2, and put together a doll house.

When she first stepped foot in France, she was scared. Big time.  As the weeks passed, she felt oddly at home.  Then life happened, boys came and went, rings appeared on her finger and then disappeared, college degrees showed up in the mail and then were lost in the depths of some cabinet, on some continent.

All those things were so fleeting.

Mom felt somewhat unsettled. Always.

On any given day, she would be find fighting herself (not out loud, thankfully)...trying to predict the future, analyze, and manipulate.  It was this obsession with control...trying to outsmart the universe. It was all pretty stressful. And then she let go one night, at an airshow (don't ask...long story).  She turned inwardly, and listened to that REALLY quiet GUT feeling (instinct/stillness/her heart).  She paid attention to herself, instead of the noise around her AND IN HER HEAD.

(Mom isn't not schizophrenic, although I would tend to argue that fact when it comes to our bedtime routine.)

At one point she unknowingly asked herself what she REALLY wanted. THIS TOOK ZERO EFFORT.  It came so naturally.  Everything.

School. Apu. Us. Europe. And France. Photography.  The soul stuff.  The stuff that takes no overthinking, or chasing.

Calm. Organic. STRESS-FREE!!!! I mean, it's pretty awesome.

So openness to mom, in this context, means listening to her tummy. It guides...navigates uncertainty with confidence, instead of fear. And most importantly, let's her trust that everything will be ok, even when it's not. Like when I refuse to take ONE nice a picture with mom!