So it all started when mom wanted dad to cook some steak last night. She put me down in my stupid crib so she could look up recipes on her iPad. After about two minutes I decided I no longer wanted to hang out with Mickey (he kinda creeps me out) so I proceeded to scream until she picked me up. She put me on her knees (which is her way of being lazy instead of holding me). I was perfectly content when she pulled her iPad closer, threw off its center of gravity, and boom, it fell on my head!!!!! It even left a mark for like 10 minutes. I was livid.
I plotted my revenge all night, and this morning when mom was wiping my butt, I shot a poop as far as I could in her general direction. I have optimal timing.
I'm pretty sure she'll have pink eye by lunch.
Ignore my double chin, it's a byproduct of projecting poop across the room.
The reason for my plot. I hope mom enjoyed it!!!
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