1. You hold your baby too much.
Ok. I don't really know how to react to this one, so I typically don't. I love my child, and I want to hold her when she is crying, hurting, playing, etc. I don't wake her up to hold her, and I certainly have no aversion to putting her in her crib to talk to herself for hours (we're hoping she's not schizophrenic).
2. Co-sleeping is dangerous and causes codependency.
Yes. Co-sleeping may be dangerous under certain circumstances. It has been noted that large blankets, heavy sleeping, drug/alcohol use, etc can all contribute to infant injury or death. I trust myself, my hygiene, I have done my research, and I am perfectly ok with saying that this is our preferred method of sleeping for the time being. I also have no problem saying that this won't be the case forever. I'm sure when she's 18 we will have moved on to separate sleeping quarters and she'll want nothing to do with us! Little does she know, I'll be following her to college.
The pediatrician here in Hungary actually waived his finger at me and said 'NO,' when we said we were co-sleeping. He said dangerous bacteria can be transmitted. Oddly enough, skin to skin contact is encouraged. I guess people harbor completely different germs at night verses during the day.
As for the codependency issue...I co-slept with my mom and now live 8,000 miles away from her.
3. You feed her too much.
How could I be such a horrible parent?! I should report myself to Child Protective Services immediately for breast feeding on demand. Last time I checked, which was this morning when I ate breakfast, people eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full (well, not all of us).
She's a healthy 4.7kg, and I don't plan on withholding.
4. Laughing at your child is wrong!
Last week Peter sneezed while holding HRH. She was initially stunned, and then let out a large drawn out cry, as if she had be thoroughly offended. It was mainly so funny because I often feel that way when Peter sneezes on me too, I've just learned to suppress my emotion.
Having a child is awesome, experiencing life is fun, and if I have to choose between crying along with HRH or laughing because I know this too shall pass, I'll choose the latter. Granted, if she has a fever or something equally as distressing, I'll be the first to comfort her and do everything in my power to find a solution. There's nothing I wouldn't do to make sure she's ok.
These are just some of the many criticisms I've had to face since giving birth, roughly 80 days ago. What is interesting is that some people think they are experts at raising children. In my experience, the people who think they have it ALL figured out, are the ones that usually have no idea.
The point of this post is to let new moms know it's ok to be themselves and parent the way they see fit. All parents screw up their kids, without intention of course. Being preoccupied with being perfect is the first way alter the course of doing what comes naturally. You'll never be perfect, so stop trying to be! I have embraced this philosophy, and find it funny when people spew their insecurities at our parenting style. I nod, agree to disagree, and continue to parent the way Peter and I see appropriate.
And to those who feel the urge to criticize, think twice. People really don't enjoy spending time with those who think they know it all. Just enjoy your time with parents and their children, and respect that everyone is entitled to their own methods of parenting. Advice is welcome, but don't be mean, it's not nice.
Less and less do you need to force things,
until you finally arrive at non-action.
When nothing is done,
nothing is left undone.
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