Weight Watchers didn't work.

I know it's so "90's" of me, but really, bulimia is in. I know it's not really healthy or whatever, but I hear people don't wear a whole lot in San Diego and we're heading back for the summer. I need to fit into my two piece.

Mom keeps taking my fingers out of my mouth, but she just doesn't get it. I can't show up overweight!

Don't judge me, not all of us are a size 2. 

I look good in pink.

I just need some gardening gloves to finish the outfit. 

Earplugs anyone?

It's pretty amazing to hear what people say or don't say (because they do it behind your back) about the way you are raising your child. I've heard it all. Literally. 

1. You hold your baby too much. 

Ok. I don't really know how to react to this one, so I typically don't. I love my child, and I want to hold her when she is crying, hurting, playing, etc. I don't wake her up to hold her, and I certainly have no aversion to putting her in her crib to talk to herself for hours (we're hoping she's not schizophrenic). 

2. Co-sleeping is dangerous and causes codependency. 

Yes. Co-sleeping may be dangerous under certain circumstances. It has been noted that large blankets, heavy sleeping, drug/alcohol use, etc can all contribute to infant injury or death. I trust myself, my hygiene, I have done my research, and I am perfectly ok with saying that this is our preferred method of sleeping for the time being. I also have no problem saying that this won't be the case forever. I'm sure when she's 18 we will have moved on to separate sleeping quarters and she'll want nothing to do with us! Little does she know, I'll be following her to college.

The pediatrician here in Hungary actually waived his finger at me and said 'NO,' when we said we were co-sleeping. He said dangerous bacteria can be transmitted. Oddly enough, skin to skin contact is encouraged. I guess people harbor completely different germs at night verses during the day.

As for the codependency issue...I co-slept with my mom and now live 8,000 miles away from her.

3. You feed her too much.  

How could I be such a horrible parent?!  I should report myself to Child Protective Services immediately for breast feeding on demand. Last time I checked, which was this morning when I ate breakfast, people eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full (well, not all of us). 

She's a healthy 4.7kg, and I don't plan on withholding. 

4. Laughing at your child is wrong! 

Last week Peter sneezed while holding HRH. She was initially stunned, and then let out a large drawn out cry, as if she had be thoroughly offended. It was mainly so funny because I often feel that way when Peter sneezes on me too, I've just learned to suppress my emotion. 

Having a child is awesome, experiencing life is fun, and if I have to choose between crying along with HRH or laughing because I know this too shall pass, I'll choose the latter. Granted, if she has a fever or something equally as distressing, I'll be the first to comfort her and do everything in my power to find a solution. There's nothing I wouldn't do to make sure she's ok. 

These are just some of the many criticisms I've had to face since giving birth, roughly 80 days ago. What is interesting is that some people think they are experts at raising children. In my experience, the people who think they have it ALL figured out, are the ones that usually have no idea. 

The point of this post is to let new moms know it's ok to be themselves and parent the way they see fit. All parents screw up their kids, without intention of course. Being preoccupied with being perfect is the first way alter the course of doing what comes naturally. You'll never be perfect, so stop trying to be! I have embraced this philosophy, and find it funny when people spew their insecurities at our parenting style. I nod, agree to disagree, and continue to parent the way Peter and I see appropriate. 

And to those who feel the urge to criticize, think twice. People really don't enjoy spending time with those who think they know it all. Just enjoy your time with parents and their children, and respect that everyone is entitled to their own methods of parenting. Advice is welcome, but don't be mean, it's not nice. 

Less and less do you need to force things, 

until you finally arrive at non-action. 

When nothing is done,

nothing is left undone. 

I'm going to take the Tao Te Ching approach. Do what comes naturally without feeling the need to explain. Ommmmmmmmmmmmm. 

God Bless New Ideas!

I don't know how new this "wrap" concept is, but I'm pretty sure I would hug the stranger who came up with it! With Peter gone to Dubai for three days, i knew my sanity would be challenged repeatedly. 

We both purchased these wraps and tried them with little success. Today, I was determined!! After watching some instructional YouTube videos, I mastered the technique. 

This is what resulted! 

Two hours of hands free bliss! I did laundry AND ate a potato! 

Three

That's how many outfits I pretty much ruined in three days at the lake. I eat. A LOT. Unbelievable doesn't begin to describe my talent. 

Lake House Blowout

Mom and dad left me with grandma and grandpa ALL day to run errands and go to a concert. Again, I plotted my revenge, which turned out to be even better than my pink eye plan.  

We came down to the lake house and within 10 minutes I let'er rip! I poo'd ALL the way up my back, up my neck and into my armpits! Let me tell you, it took some force. I think I made my point.

Mom and dad were running around like a couple of chickens, attempting to regain control of the situation. They failed. Miserably. 

This life couldn't be any more entertaining. 

My Muppet friends think I'm hysterical. 

Who can get mad at this face?! 

Time for the pool! Thankfully, mom and dad bought me a Parisian hat during their honeymoon in Nice, to keep me from getting too much sun. It's a good thing I'm using it because the whole outfit cost 36€! Dad's a sucker. 

Mom is dumb.

Mom put me in my crib when I was wide awake, which is usually a very DANGEROUS thing to do.  I looked around a little, but then got bored and decided to take a nap. She was so freaked out by my unusual behavior that she woke me up to make sure I was ok! Jeeze! Make up your mind already! 

Mom is also dumb for the following reason; she spent the equivalent of $18 on bootlegged A-1 steak sauce. Looks like I won't be going to college.