Dad fail #6836

My sincere apologies for my lack of appearances of late. It’s hard to get mom to sit down and be my scribe now that she’s working so much as a real life writer...go figure.

So there are a few funny stories to tell from recent months...but let’s start with the best one.

We went to Budapest for Christmas, and of course, it wouldn’t be complete without a tragically funny run in with a very demented universe.

Thankfully, this Christmas it didn't involve a HUGE family fight on the beaches of Dubai (yes, that happened Christmas 2014, I believe it was about me eating too much fruit).

Anywho...

We spent the first two nights at nagypapas and nagymamas (grandma and grandpa's, for the non-Hungarian speakers in the audience), sans incident. Mom and apu (aka daddy-o) slept in their usual room across the hall, and Pompom and I in the designated kids room. That changed on day three when Aunt S, baby V and daddy G arrived. They took mom and apu’s room because there was more room for baby V's crib...forever shifting the dynamics of early morning hysteria.

Apu: “Just wait, Pompom will wake up at 2am and go into the wrong room!”

Mom: “No, it’s fine, I showed her that we moved into this room!”

1:59am (LITERALLY, mom looked at the clock): Commence total s#~!show.

Mom heard the tiny footsteps outside in the room and went into full panic mode. Due to the fact it was pitch black, and mom wasn’t wearing pants, things got ugly...fast.

“Where is the light!?!!! Get up, Apu! Pompom, come in THIS bedroom!!” in a screaming whisper!

Apu's snores continued. Pompom's baby whimpers got louder.

BAM. Toe number one, busted.

In her desperate attempt not to embarrass herself in front of her new family members (who live in Vienna, where everyone is basically royalty), mom proceeded to cuss and shuffle around aimlessly for ANOTHER 10 seconds, in her feble attempts to find her pants. Nope. Not in the cards.

Pompom’s crying started moving down the hall and mom’s heart started racing even faster, but she was NOT going out without her Lululemon. They are black, by the way, which didn't help.

Proceed directly to Mach 3.

Mother universe then decided to collide in one epic moment...

In the same millisecond, mom found the brightest light in the house, Pompom discovered the man coming out of the original room was NOT a Hungarian (and screeched a cry unknown to earthlings), and the actual Hungarian ran out of the room like an Olympic triathlete (with NOT one item of clothing on...except his Buddha tattoo).

Apu proceeded to meet both Pompom and his new brother in law, buck naked (yes, it's a word European friends), at 2:00am...on the DOT.

Let’s just say...breakfast the next morning was slightly awkward. And now so is this blog because you know way too much...

Your assumptions are correct, we all hate pants.

Cheers!